Game: Blue _________
4 different answers each worth £10,000. First person to guess one of those 4 answers wins and the game ends.
STACK RACE IS ON!
(we join the game already some indeterminate time after the beginning)
—Things it’s not—
blue chip
blue greyhound (seriously)
blue ribbon
blue savannah
blue ink
down to £5000 now. Fuckin’ liars said it would be over after those callers.
blue bayou
blue stocking
blue moon (already had that one you stupid fuck)
he’s dancing again. Fuck’s sake
blue beard (had this)
blue tooth
Ben sez bluetooth headsets: rubbish (waves his arms in the air to signify this)
Blue bird
Blue periwinkle
blue sand
blue marlin
blue danube
blue water - or watter as they apparently say in Sheffield
Ben wants me to buy him a holiday with my potential winnings. Not even for a private dance, you weirdo.
Christiana is back :’(
Hahah! Wiping the coke off her nose. Superb
blue horizon (WTF?)
gorgeous robert says blue eyed boy, natch
Ben dances on a regular basis apparently. He is the new Ian Curtis
Prizes are tax free. Oh boy, I’m sold
blue suede shoes
blue eyes (yeah, I’m sure this hasn’t been done already)
blue lagoon (the first film ever to feature boys and girls kissing according to Christiana)
blue movie (had this before)
now she’s talking about john hughes films. 80s lol
blue moon (again!)
blue watch
don’t forget to set a personal limit, folks! Remember, this is all about taking part and having fun and not at all about trying to get something for nothing
blue stilton
game ends in 3 calls? Thank Christ.
Manchester’s disproportionate participation is depressing me. Come on people, you can do better than this.
Come on callers 3, 2 and 1!
“It’s a stack (stack gesture) race! I can’t really explain it, but it’s a race..to get the stack”
“What’s your answer sweetie?” “Thank you.” “Er, what’s your answer?” “Thank you” “Your answer..?”
blue ball?! Fuck yeah! Sounded like a granny too.
blue seven? What? Oh, blue siren. Denied.
Last caller! Woop!
Oh, there’s still 10 minutes of the show left. Are they gonna drag this out?
Stop saying blue. Please.
Oh boy! Here we go.
Angie, make my day.
Blue danube?! You stupid fuck, we had that.
Real answers were
Anchor
Garter
Jade
Laser (behold the amazing power of HD?)
—Ben’s Boners—
“I don’t want to know the answers”
“Are you writing down the wrong answers?”
“Blue grass. Blue…grass. Blue grass”
“Do you know who we need for this? Bateman.”
“I don’t know the answers. Christiana doesn’t have the answers. We know nothing”
“I’m getting mixed up with winkle pickers” - points to his crotch
“Blue..bluuuue, blue. Blue blueeee, blue”
on
4 Comments
Oh god. The inanity. I cannot believe I didn’t stay to watch this, it sounds fantastically preferable to my rational choice of sleep. Still, your commentary makes the pain almost bearable.
I love Ben, I love his dance, I love his “winklepickers”… I even love his worryingly autonomous eyebrows. But on reflection, I probably wouldn’t have his children - I don’t think that the human genepool is sufficiently well-equipped as of yet to cope with the madness. Not when it already has to contend with insomniac grannies who’ll call up simply to utter the words “blue balls” on national television.
Ben Baldwin’s children? Now there’s a disturbing thought. Never speak of it again!
Alas, it would appear that he is already otherwise engaged. http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/interviews/article.html?in_article_id=46510&in_page_id=11 Though the use of the term “other half” does strike me as slightly sexually ambiguous. Either way, it appears I shall have to lower my ambitions. Shame. Just think of all the miniBens, dancing around in their mini polyester Primark-castoffs… we could race them!
hahahaha
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